My pathetic life.

I haven't talk to my mom since yesterday. So you can say I have a pretty stressful life for the moment. She's kinda mad at me because of something. I don't know why. And I wanna know why. I bet she doesn't even look at me. She ignores me I guess. It hurts you know. Like, this is the moment I felt like I need to run away. I looked at her. And she made me feel like I'm not even exist. She said something to me last few days. It still hurts whenever I remember things she said.I love her so much but I wonder, when she's mad at me, is there ever a time when she wanted me gone? I'm not over reacting. I just wanna know. This curiosity I have, I can't help it. I cheer her up whenever she's sad. Well, I tried..

Am I that bad, mother? Am I that worst? Am I different from those you love? Do you really love me? Have you ever love me? Do you know how I feel right now? Do you care about me? What if I'm gone? Will you be happy? I'm sorry that I'm your daughter, mother. But, you're the best. No matter how many times I have to choose someone else to be my mother, I will still choose you. No matter how strong you dislike me. I watched you sleep all the time. Have you ever dreamed of me? 'cause I have. Once, this dream was so wonderful that I wish I'd stay in bed forever. If that dream's for real, I'll be grateful. But will you? if that was your dream? Mother, I know I'm not perfect. I'm not even close to being perfect. Why can't you accept the imperfect human like me? I'm lacking of completeness. I'm fragile, mother. Why?! Why?! Why?! I don't know if you really understand me. But I'm you daughter!! I'm sick of this life!! Why can't you understand?!