a little explaination solved my problems.

finally, i CONFRONTED him. on the phone though. i asked him all the questions that had haunt me. honestly, not all the answers are like what i've expected. the reason why i kept all of these to myself is that, i am AFRAID of knowing the answers. i mean, come on. i broke up with jerks i LOVED because of another girls. and yes, GIRLS.. so apparantly, my fear has become phobia. i freak out whenever he's online, when he's out with his friends and etc. i don't feel like listing them all.. and here, i defend myself. i'm not trying to be a controlfreak, dear. no no no. this is all the JERKS' fault. aah, they ruined me. and you, FIXED me! i can't keep on like this. i depend on you just so i can feel the 'WARMNESS' again. see, i've told ya my life's complicated. unexpected things happen when i freak out. ergh. stupid me! okay okay. i'm off.. love ya, baby! xoxo