am i a stalker?

i keep seeing this guy i know from facebook. i saw him more than FIVE times at non-common places. i was like, what a coincident.. WICKED!

guess who i saw..

well, i saw akmal h ahmad. azri and his girlfriend aaand majidah. BUT, among all of them, majidah was the only one who saw me back. thanks for the short-chitchat maj. :)

me plus you. :)

he makes me happy. and i know where i'll be... right by his side coz, he is the one..

can i keep thursday?

aaanother night spent with my boyfriend.. ohh, i wanna keep you in my pocket so you wouldnt have to leave.. and so i could see you every second. take care of you. accompany you. everything.. i lalalove you~ :)

Happy Three Months Anniversary.. :)

aah, we made it together. i love you, sayang. may Allah bless our relationship.. Amin~ :)

each and every time i have to wait, i bury my pain deeper.

i am lonely. and i am bored. my phone doesnt even make a single sound. no incoming calls, no new messages. nothing! uh, i had a pretty boring day today. not to mentioned about things going on between me and my pa. aah, blaming me over a simple thing. sorry to say, pa. you've been blaming me since i was born. im tired of it. ergh! aaaand, eins eins, where are you...? huh.. i am so out of ideas. and, i dont know what to do other than have to wait for it. so, um okay then. off.. iskh. nada mood ku baaa. :'(

eins. ohh, youre my future.

i need him right now. i really really do.. uh, i dreamt of a very very uncool dream where our relation is um well, i bet you already know.. i dont usually tell people my nightmares. but, for some reason, i wanted to. no, i needed to. god, dont make my future another vain dream of mine. i believe that he is it. he is the one. whom i will be building my future with.. my heart still beats faster.. a drop or two tears fell when i opened my eyes. realizing its just a nightmare, i sent him a text message as usual but started with i love you. uh, i wish to see his smile everytime im having nightmares.. ohh eins.. :'(

eins. ohh, i want nobody, nobody but YOU :)

he is um asleep. and me, i can't sleep. uh, i hate it when i can't sleep. so, quick updates, guys.. i, changed his name in my contact lists.. name that suits him better. aaand, i kept looking at his photos again and again.. ohh, i miss him so much. sob sob. i haven't seen him since friday. which is, three days ago. ohmigod, feels like ages, man! and our three months ann is within two more days. gosh, i countdown lots of things eh.. um, so i guess i'm done. off. bye, i love ya, baby!

eins. my super boyfriend-friday oh friday. :)

another precious moment i spent with my boyfriend. :)
thanks for everything and i love you..

yes!

just now, i received a text message.. aaand guess what? it's my june o'level result. i passed my english. means i'm adding another O in my result. thank goodness. ohmigod. i felt like crying, man! i am so happy...!

eins.

boyfriend, you're my everything..
aaand i love you. :)

i wish today is still yesterday.

i met my boyfriend yesterday. we planned to watch a movie. but due to lateness, we had to cancel the plan. so we ended up having dinner at la mee. and then, we were about to go to jp. but it rained kinda heavily. so, again-cancelled. beside, jp was closed. aah, what a luck. but i didnt regret spending time with him. every second i spent with him is PRECIOUS. since ramadhan is coming, i booked him for 'after sungkai' time. hehe. aaaand, i remember my sister shouted 'puaspuas tah kamu before puasa'. haha. sounds kinky. aah, zip it. enough with dirty minded.. uh, im missing him already. :')

ramadhan.

i dont know if i should be happy when the fasting month comes. i miss everything. i miss how things used to be. with grandpa reading the prayer during sahur and sungkai.. now who'll be reading the prayer for us? who'll be waking us up to get ready for sahur? im not even sure if i wanna wake up anymore. i miss you grandpa. we miss you. i feel the changes. and you know how much i hate changes. i want things back how they used to be! am i asking too much?! these are making things difficult, grandpa.. i need you!

what a boring sunday

im missing my boyfriend! i havent seen him since friday.. aaaah, plus, i've got nothing to do today. BORING!

this obsession brings me joy at last.

before we were together, i told myself to give everything up. people around me told me to confess. i never did. until this very moment where i had to. i used to think that love was a fool's illusion. then i discovered that i was a fool for love.
thank goodness i didn't give up. well, yea i did. once. but then, i moved on and keep one thing to myself.. 'happy ending awaits you at the very end of this journey' i ended my journey with me, taken by him. i captured his HEART. I DID IT. i really did it. sob sob. tears of joy, aah, dramatic.. okay. i'm off, bye. again. love ya!

i won't regret the decision i made.

having him is enough. what more can i say? I AM COMPLETE.. okay. off, bye!

a little explaination solved my problems.

finally, i CONFRONTED him. on the phone though. i asked him all the questions that had haunt me. honestly, not all the answers are like what i've expected. the reason why i kept all of these to myself is that, i am AFRAID of knowing the answers. i mean, come on. i broke up with jerks i LOVED because of another girls. and yes, GIRLS.. so apparantly, my fear has become phobia. i freak out whenever he's online, when he's out with his friends and etc. i don't feel like listing them all.. and here, i defend myself. i'm not trying to be a controlfreak, dear. no no no. this is all the JERKS' fault. aah, they ruined me. and you, FIXED me! i can't keep on like this. i depend on you just so i can feel the 'WARMNESS' again. see, i've told ya my life's complicated. unexpected things happen when i freak out. ergh. stupid me! okay okay. i'm off.. love ya, baby! xoxo

guys, kamu tah kawan seperjuangan kuu.. *banar!*

i visited some of my friends' blogs and facebooks, and i noticed something. i noticed that i am beginning to fade away from everyone's mind. and i realized that i've kept myself busy doing nothing for the past few months. ohh guys, i miss you. when can we MEET again? now, we all are walking on our own path, leaving me on my own. UNEMPLOYED. duhh.. i'm off!

eins.. hugs and kisses.

eins.. i gave him my world. and wish for his in return. all this time, i've been going with the flow followed by a little effort to keep me on track so he won't feel bore with me. being an optimists, so not me. but thinking it might bring happiness to both of us, i managed to be one. he even changed me. i feel IMPROVED. all i need to do is believing. and i'm telling you that i do believe that we will be such a perfect, happy couple. and yes, HE IS FULLY MINE AND I AM FULLY HIS. but then, one issue, 'forever' doesn't sound like forever anymore. sorry. but i've seen people around me breaking up, crashing down. people who swore that they're going to be together FOREVER. now, who's to blame? forever is a meaningless word when it's written only with ink and paper. i might not say it out loud. but in my point of view, 'forever' is a very very strong word which needs more than all of my efforts just for me to say it..

eins. love love love.

hello readers. it has been quite some time since i last post my story. things had change. from worst to bad. bad to good. and good to BETTER.
my friend and i, are cool now. i mean, i apologized. so i guess saying sorry aint that hard after all.
okay okay. the FUN part, me and my love. eins. aah, finally i told him who is eins. which is himself. it embarrassed me though. but then, i dont want him to think it was somebody else. we're getting much much better. and i really wish/believe that he is my mr. perfect. i couldn't wish for more. i did things i've never done with my ex. don't WET yourself, guys. we didn't do something stupid. i mean, we held hands. we went to see movies. we spent times together. aah, we had so much fun. we even meet every weekend. i hope this goes on like this. and i wish we can see each other everyday. and trust me, i'll never get tired of seeing him. this makes him, my FIRST LOVE. and i'm no longer living in the past. my exs, i'm so over them. and say hello to my new boyfriend, eins!