updates.. :)

So, Aidilfitri is just around the corner. I pray so that amazing things will happen during Aidilfitri. And i got myself a job, yeah..! i was so happy when i got the mail, i even cried.. um, i also went to visit babah, and cried too.. ish, i wasnt ready. and im still not ready. i just dont think that i will ever be ready.. anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri guys..! :) enjoy your cuti while it lasts..!

....

committing is hard...

anyway, i cant sleep. theres this thing that bugs me. i dont know how clean up my mind. the only option that i thought can help me arent working. but instead, it worsen things. geez, i hate it when this feeling attacked my mood.

so, thats it. im out.

He makes me happy..

I miss my boyfriend.. :'( how i wish youre here right now, love..

aah, we were friends.. but why?

God, just tell me kenapa orang cematu masih wujud? Enough is enough..!! Bulan Ramadhan pun masih kan menyihir orang? unbelievable... I still can bear with this pain.. Sometimes i cant even believe yang im actually dalam perumuran where orang would pakai 'sihir' over me.. Menyabut 'sihir' is sickening enough.. it might sounds insane.. but thats the reality, guys..



Dearest pal,

If youre reading this, tell him (H TUD) to stop it..!! Im this close to punch him with my bare hand.. Sihir? Are you fucking kidding me?? And Im this close to humiliate him publicly..

That stupid ass biotch once mentioned, 'kalau hati ku kapir, lama sudah ia (babah) tu bebungkus uleh ku' and 'sembahyang hajat ku supaya kamu anak beranak mati accident'

Inda palui ka tu? Sembahyang hajat? aah, cemani saja, tell him to contact me.. I can help him to masuk sekulah ugama balik supaya inda buduh. It doesnt make any sense. Kalau ia luan desperate for money, tell him to sembahyang hajat minta banyakkan rezeki, bukan kan minta orang mati accident..

and then, my mom cakap 'kalau ada papa jadi arah kami, kita tah punya pasal tu ah?' and he answered 'bah, tiwasan kamu inda mau membayar'

Let me ask you this, APAKAN DIBAYAR??? DARI AWAL KAMI NADA BEUTANG..!! NADA KAMI PERNAH MINTA SATU SEN PUN DARI KAMU..!!! But then, ia keeps on bugging kami suruh bayar. And now, bila kami ignore, sihir jawapannya?? Listen, mengugut wont make kami membagi duit arah sampah masyarakat macam ia..! Ive tried my best to be inda kurang ajar..

I dont like the fact that i have to turn my back against you just because ia buat masalah and tries to hurt my family and i.. But im deeply sorry to say that, he messed up and theres nothing that you and i can do to change it. I resent him sampai bila bila. And bila ingat ia, i feel so sick that i could fill this whole world with my puke.. I hope you can understand why im being like this.. Sometimes i wonder if youve imagined what would it be like to be in my position. To lose a father, and not to mention, to live with humiliations. I know that if i humiliate him, there will be a side-effect arah kami.. Im ready for that, coz i know kamu lagi malu dari kami.. And i know that it sucks to have to do it this way. But i'd do anything to buat ia marah sampai ia sangal. But kalau ia inda pandai sangal jua, then i will keep on malukan ia..

Ramadhan..

yes, the title has it all.. so, happy fasting everyone.. :)

and...
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babah, are you here already?