i won't regret the decision i made.

having him is enough. what more can i say? I AM COMPLETE.. okay. off, bye!

a little explaination solved my problems.

finally, i CONFRONTED him. on the phone though. i asked him all the questions that had haunt me. honestly, not all the answers are like what i've expected. the reason why i kept all of these to myself is that, i am AFRAID of knowing the answers. i mean, come on. i broke up with jerks i LOVED because of another girls. and yes, GIRLS.. so apparantly, my fear has become phobia. i freak out whenever he's online, when he's out with his friends and etc. i don't feel like listing them all.. and here, i defend myself. i'm not trying to be a controlfreak, dear. no no no. this is all the JERKS' fault. aah, they ruined me. and you, FIXED me! i can't keep on like this. i depend on you just so i can feel the 'WARMNESS' again. see, i've told ya my life's complicated. unexpected things happen when i freak out. ergh. stupid me! okay okay. i'm off.. love ya, baby! xoxo

guys, kamu tah kawan seperjuangan kuu.. *banar!*

i visited some of my friends' blogs and facebooks, and i noticed something. i noticed that i am beginning to fade away from everyone's mind. and i realized that i've kept myself busy doing nothing for the past few months. ohh guys, i miss you. when can we MEET again? now, we all are walking on our own path, leaving me on my own. UNEMPLOYED. duhh.. i'm off!

eins.. hugs and kisses.

eins.. i gave him my world. and wish for his in return. all this time, i've been going with the flow followed by a little effort to keep me on track so he won't feel bore with me. being an optimists, so not me. but thinking it might bring happiness to both of us, i managed to be one. he even changed me. i feel IMPROVED. all i need to do is believing. and i'm telling you that i do believe that we will be such a perfect, happy couple. and yes, HE IS FULLY MINE AND I AM FULLY HIS. but then, one issue, 'forever' doesn't sound like forever anymore. sorry. but i've seen people around me breaking up, crashing down. people who swore that they're going to be together FOREVER. now, who's to blame? forever is a meaningless word when it's written only with ink and paper. i might not say it out loud. but in my point of view, 'forever' is a very very strong word which needs more than all of my efforts just for me to say it..

eins. love love love.

hello readers. it has been quite some time since i last post my story. things had change. from worst to bad. bad to good. and good to BETTER.
my friend and i, are cool now. i mean, i apologized. so i guess saying sorry aint that hard after all.
okay okay. the FUN part, me and my love. eins. aah, finally i told him who is eins. which is himself. it embarrassed me though. but then, i dont want him to think it was somebody else. we're getting much much better. and i really wish/believe that he is my mr. perfect. i couldn't wish for more. i did things i've never done with my ex. don't WET yourself, guys. we didn't do something stupid. i mean, we held hands. we went to see movies. we spent times together. aah, we had so much fun. we even meet every weekend. i hope this goes on like this. and i wish we can see each other everyday. and trust me, i'll never get tired of seeing him. this makes him, my FIRST LOVE. and i'm no longer living in the past. my exs, i'm so over them. and say hello to my new boyfriend, eins!